The Bankruptcy

28 02 2011

I resent this month. Generally, I’ve never been too keen about February. I find it pretentious, superficial, and overrated. People irrationally call it the “love month,” as if you desist from loving during the other 11 months of the year. They make an incomprehensible effort to overspend on inane stuff that are utterly fleeting and arguably pointless on hindsight. But now, I caught a few other reasons to be repulsed by February with much more intensity. And I’m just spent — bankrupt — in more ways than one.

You never imagine things that you see occur on TV or in movies could happen in real life, much less to you. How monetary loss drives an individual to a frenzy is uncharted territory to me. Was. Yes, the life-savings-down-the-drain kind. I do not intend to delve into the specifics. It’s nothing illegal, of course. But I do know now how devastating it is to be in such harrowing situation. As a consolation, I just tell myself that there are far worse ways to lose finances. That’s all there is to do. And well, start the rebuilding process.

Personally, I’m feeling detached and cleared out of any speck of enthusiasm, most especially for work. Waking up tomorrow unemployed wouldn’t be the worst thing for me. Seriously. Being in the office either makes me abhor more people, or provides me with more reasons to be repulsed by someone. I’m not kidding, nor am I exaggerating. Every working day is becoming less and less tolerable. I hope I’m able to get out of this shit hole soon because staying on is a slow and painful death sentence.

So yeah, I am more than pleased to kick February’s ass out of the way, and usher in a hopefully less destructive and more productive March. In Lily Allen’s words: Fuck you, February. Fuck you very, very much.

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